Photos never do a moment justice, nor videos. It's partially why I started the blog. Yet, I often find myself thinking or saying or writing that something is "beyond words" or "indescribable." What's the point of illustrating with words if you only use them to say they actually can't be used? It's no better than a photo in that case. In these journal-entries-turned-blog-post, I tried to get creative be a little more descriptive. Record and share a feeling with the snapshots. Do my best to bring the "beyond" right here. It seems to have come out in the form of conversations and lessons.
Written in January
Switzerland, Rigi
Lessons from Nature
"Good Morning. It's a bit cloudy today... but wait til you see what's in store..."
The morning is one of those that is quiet and crisp. The clouds cover over everything saying
"it's Sunday, stay in bed, cozy for a little longer. rest."
but i did not. too excited to get out to see what the world and nature has to show me.
I board the boat, looking out at the mountains and city (or at least what is visible), anticipating the mystery I now know is hiding behind the clouds. The boat leaves the dock, cutting through the crystal water. I want to do nothing more than jump in.
"Stay in the boat. I am beautiful and clear but ice-cold. Wait. Come back another time. Enjoy me by looking for now. Watch how I reflect the land back to you. Like a mirror. A second perspective. See me from above. You'll notice something new each time you look between land and water"
The boat docks, I find the train. Getting my already full heart and wide eyes ready to take in the views.
up.
up.
up.
the train climbs.
stop.
go.
climb again.
up.
up.
up.
I look out the windows.
The air starts to chill.
then
snow.
a moment I've hoped for all winter.
flakes falling quickly. turning the world white.
We reach Rigi Kulm
I am giddy.
I see you nature.
Thanks for the show so far.
Let's keep getting aquainted.
Start my walk. down. turn. view.
The never-ending green, bounded only by the mountains that tower over to keep it safe.
The city and towns below look no bigger than lego blocks (and that is generous).
A thought: I've always known being short. I've never felt this small
humbled. brought to a pause. a reminder:
"stop. take in beauty. it's here for you to see. Today is not for rushing. It's about seeing, enjoying, wondering, waiting, learning. I'll teach you how to take in and remember a moment. Listen. Be curious. Keep your eyes open"
song lyrics come to mind:
"If you never leave home, never let go, you'll never make it to the great unknown
'til you keep your eyes, open, my love"
I read on a tourist site that "it's not worth visiting Rigi in the morning, it will just be covered by clouds". I find that to be only halfway correct. It is cloudy, but so worth the visit.
We learn to see the clouds and rain as making the world ugly. Like something that has contaminated or corrupted beauty.
"But I put the clouds here on purpose. Not only have they brought you the snow to kiss your nose, but also to redirect your attention and show you something new. My mountains and water are magnificent, but you've seen them. Make sure you pay attention to the other things that are present and being created all around you. Remember the trees. the rocks. each small plant. the feeling of the air encircling you. the smell of snow and mud and freshly chopped wood. All of it is just as breathtaking as the mountains and water. In fact, their magnificence cannot happen without all of these smaller pieces. You've not seen a fraction of what there is to admire."
Okay. I hear you. Keep teaching me. Keep showing me how to admire. How to be in awe.
one step.
another.
step.
step.
step.
"stop!"
"walk quietly."
"you cannot hear my music if you're making all that noise."
"that's better."
soft steps in the gravel and snow, trying not to disturb the harmony that's being constructed.
birds sing through
rustling needles of the trees that stretch far into the sky while
wind whistles through each branch
I come to a stop
closed eyes.
listen only.
I did not know that falling snow made a sound. I always thought it was too soft,
too gentle to make noise
but i hear each snowflake touch the ground
I feel them bounce off my cheeks. they whisper:
"wait 'til your mind is quiet. then open your eyes to look again and see how we make the world glow."
"that's right, good listening."
"keep walking."
"keep your eyes open."
I arrive back at a lookout where I had stopped earlier.
"Here's a full portrait of me again"
"You've already glimpsed at it before, now use what you've just learned to see it."
"Let it seep in"
Clouds seem to cover up half of the portrait.
Mountains cut through mist, only a few layers can be seen,
but you can feel there is more hiding.
Wind and snow bite my nose.
The green of the trees cascades down the mountainside,
fading into the vibrant green fields below.
The lake goes where it wishes, purest blue,
filling the space between land and a massive rocky island.
and though you can't see everything behind the curtain of clouds, you know it all goes on forever.
"Now that you've seen it, you'll be able to imagine it, call it back to memory. I've taught you the lesson of taking in a moment. Keep practicing. Notice beauty everywhere. Be in awe."
Rigi, Queen of the Mountains, I am grateful for your lesson in beauty and embrace and awe.
deep breath.
outstretched arms.
face and heart pointed to the sky
"One more thing: you're a part of this, too"
~~~
I hardly remember being in the cable car. In my memory, I just floated right down the mountain. Back on the boat I plugged in my headphones, to set manmade music as the soundtrack to the nature before me. Seagulls chasing and guiding us back to the city. Mountains, now fully visible above us, gliding across glassy water. I imagine reaching out and letting it run through my fingers.
The soundtrack plays:
~~~
"Cause if you never leave home, never let go
you'll never make it to the great unknown.
open up your eyes.
keep your eyes open.
so tell me you're strong
tell me you see
I need to hear it, can you promise me to
keep your eyes open, my love
show me your fire
show me your heart
you know I'll never let you fall apart
if you
keep your eyes open, my love."
-NEEDTOBREATHE
(...but also mother nature on this particular day...)
Written sometime in November
Easter eggs
Ever think that there's someone who wakes up before you do everyday and paints the world in a different way so you can see new things in the same places? Notice new beauty that wasn't there before, or was just hiding, or that you missed.
"Good Morning! I made the world new for you today!"
It's kind of like an easter egg hunt...
"Take your time getting ready for the day. I am still preparing and painting.
No, wait! Relax for a breath more. It's not ready yet. Just a few final touches...
...okayyyyy PERFECT! It's all ready for you!
Come out and see what you find! I hope you enjoy it!"
First entry in a new journal
(should've known from this entry that paying attention to nature was going to be a theme for the next few months)
Written in October
To thunderstorms and fall
Is there a word for what it's like to watch a thunderstorm and feel instantly more myself? To feel like running outside and asking it to stay around for just a while longer. To feel like putting on a song that matches it's rhythm just to say "I get you" and dance together.
A natural phenomenon that feels like your best friend. You feel understood. You know she gets what it's like to get a rush of confidence and strength. What it feels like for your ambition and passion to collide, overflow and refuse to be held back.
Chaos. Energy. Electricity. Confrontation. Excitement. Rapid Change. Speed. Shifting. Clarity.
Is there a word to describe how to say thank you for when a thunderstorm reminds you what those feelings are like? In the moments when you're feeling buried in the weeds of it all. When you're in the details and work so deep that you've mometarily lost sight of the big picture and why you've chosen this path. Look to the things that come so naturally to the world to remind yourself what comes naturally to you.
Is there a word to describe the lovely gown of fall that the trees wear when the season comes around? The brilliant colors that you just can't bring yourself to call orange, yellow, or red because it feels like an injustice to give them such simple descriptions.
Leaves fall from the trees in a way that looks like confetti for a welcome home party. I wish I could just spend a whole day looking at all the different ways they light up the sky. the ground. our homes. They make you feel grounded and reflective, quieting your mind and getting you ready to face the cold and dreary days ahead. It's all a final flash of color before everything turns to shades of white and grey.
Autumn reminds us of our power & quiets our hearts if we take time to listen and observe.